Crystal Cathedral

Little Joshua: "Jesus in the morning... Jesus in the night"
By Martha Felix, Joshua's Mom

Many of us go through the daily motions of work, kids, home – so busy we don't take a breath, let alone stop, reflect, and give importance to that which really matters. This year, my family had to stop in our tracks when we experienced the heartbreaking death of our four-and-a-half-year-old son Joshua.

The day of the accident started out as a typical morning, getting him ready for preschool at the Crystal Cathedral. He was always so excited to go, and every morning as we rounded the corner to the preschool and the bell tower would appear he would clap and yell, "Yea, Joshua's school!" The first time he heard the bells ringing, he stopped, turned to me and said, "Listen Momma. What's that?" I replied, "Those are bells ringing. Isn't it beautiful?" After that, whenever he would hear the bells, he'd say, "That's beautiful, Momma."

He had a stuffed lion named "Michito" (kitty) that he carried with him everywhere, but as soon as we pulled into the parking lot, I would say, "Okay. What do we need to do now?" He would look at the kitty and say, "Okay, Michito. Time for me to go to school. Wait for me here, okay?"

That last day was a typical day – school, a ride home with dad, a snack and errands to run. When we all were finally together around 7:20, Joshua shared with me about his day, and then he went off to play. Twenty minutes later, we were on the phone with 911 – our precious son had somehow ended up in our pool and was now unresponsive. After days of coming to terms with the severity of his condition, we were advised to take him off life support. Both sides of the family said their good-byes while preparations were made to donate his viable organs. When he was taken off life-support, he took his last breath and was gone.

With Monday morning came the grievous task of notifying the preschool of Joshua's death, and we decided to do so in person. As soon as we shared the news, the love of the staff and teachers surrounded and enfolded us. We cried together as many pastors came to comfort us and lift us in prayer.

Since we didn't know what to do about a memorial service for Joshua, we were encouraged to meet with the staff at Memorial Gardens. When we came to the gardens, I was taken aback. It wasn't a regular cemetery. It was just what the name implied - a garden - a very beautiful one with lush landscaping and the sounds of water cascading and bells ringing throughout the day. As soon as we walked in, I knew that I wanted my son interred there.

The staff of Memorial Gardens made sure that everything went off without a hitch at Joshua's service. As we remained shocked and grief-stricken, they stepped in to make sure that everything was done according to our wishes. Our experience with Memorial Gardens was the best possible and of extreme comfort in a most-difficult time. We have recommended it to other families who have since experienced the loss of a loved one.

To this day, three months later, we are still receiving calls of condolence and being visited by Pastor Kok. We are still in touch with Alma in Memorial Gardens as well as the staff at the preschool - Marlene, Peggy, and Nonni. Never could I have imagined that we would receive so much support, being that Joshua had been there less than three months. I never thought that so many would hear about our loss and be moved to call and offer words of comfort to a family that wasn't even a member of the church.

I remember what Marlene had said during our parent interview when enrolling Joshua in the school: "We are all a family at the Crystal Cathedral Preschool." I would have never imagined how much that would be true until we received so much support from everybody at the preschool – parents, staff, and teachers - Miss Rahnee, Miss Delores, Miss Patti, and Miss Deana.

Some have said to me that they thought of my family as strong and inspiring. I say this in response: We are only as strong as the support we receive. This experience could have been more difficult had we been in it alone. But thanks to everybody at the Crystal Cathedral, we've survived better than we could have anticipated. With God's help, we are coping with our loss as best we can, one day at a time.

In retrospect, I can now tell you that although I had scoped out preschools closer to home, I was drawn to the Crystal Cathedral Preschool, a 30- minute drive from our home in Fullerton. Its influence was wonderful on Joshua's life. He was the one that would remind us to pray before we ate, to make good choices, and to sing throughout the day. His favorite song became "Jesus, Jesus. Jesus in the morning, Jesus in the night."

I would have given my life for Joshua's. Yet, it is not for me to question, but to learn that we all need to come to God. Even though he's always with us, we need to make the effort to come to him, as Joshua would sing, "in the morning…in the night." Yes, God works in mysterious ways.