I am so glad you are asking the question. Too many people just take the cross for granted or don’t stop to think about what it means.
I do frequently wear crosses, in fact I have a collection of them because the cross is the greatest symbol in the world.
To me, the cross is the Great Eraser. As a former teacher and a perfectionist writer I love erasers and the delete button on my laptop. As everyone else I know I have regrets, things I would have done differently. The promise of the cross is that even though I will never be perfect, my mistakes can be forgiven, the slate can be wiped clean, I can have a new start, not just every day, but every time, every minute I mess up. All I have to do is look to the cross and thank God for His unspeakable gift—the gift of redemption!
God sent His one and only Son, Jesus, to die for us so our mistakes, our regrets, our shames, our mess-ups can be forgiven, redeemed, erased, graced!
I pray you will accept the gift of grace that is freely offered to you today and every day. May you feel His grace daily!
Sheila
Well, first of all the good news is that God does not require us to pray! The spiritual disciplines as praying, reading the Bible, fasting, etc, are not intended nor required for us to do to earn God’s favor or grace.
There is nothing we can do to earn God’s gift of grace. All we can do is accept the gift! A gift is just that. You can’t take any credit for it. You didn’t pay for it, shop for it, or even wrap it. You can just accept it, open it and say thank you for it.
Then, practice the spiritual disciplines out of gratitude--not to earn grace, but because you are thankful for the gift. When you approach Christ with the attitude of gratitude versus the attitude of having to, you will find that you will be too wired not to pray!
Sheila
]]>Lost for words
]]> Dear Lost for Words, In the parable of the sower there are four types of soil: shallow (birds came and devoured before roots could be sprouted), rocky (so roots couldn’t grow), thorny (choked out the plants), and good! Your neighbor is probably good soil right now! It’s our responsibility to merely sow the seeds, leaving the results to God!
Specifically pray the following scripture for her daily, “I (God) will give you (insert your neighbor’s name here) a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.” (Ezekial 36:26) Then look for opportunities to bring her to church or encourage her to watch the Hour of Power. When one of my neighbors was diagnosed with terminal cancer I filled a small journal with inspiring Bible verses to give her. She loved it!
When the time is right, you can make an appointment with her and invite her over for tea. Let her know that Jesus loves her and wants to be her friend. Ask her if you can say a prayer with her. Then, just pray with her.
Praise God that He has put you in her life! You can be her life-line to Jesus!
Believe it or not you are at the optimal age to go back to school, so if that’s all that’s stopping you, don’t let it! I was fifty when I entered the doctoral program and most of my colleagues were of a similar age. We are fortunate to live in a country where we have the freedom to make choices. And going back to school just might be the choice you’ll make.
It sounds like this is the perfect time for you to take stock of your life and God’s purpose for you. My parents taught me, “Only one life, ‘twil soon be past. Only what’s done for Christ will last.” Ask yourself, “What’s my passion?” And, “If I threw my heart into my passion, would it glorify God?” Finally, pray and ask God to reveal your true purpose in life. You have the freedom to do anything you want! Choose to do something beautiful for God!
Sheila
You are right to recognize that spending time with God will provide a source of spiritual power and nourishment to carry you through your busy, challenging days. The following are ways that helped me (but please don't feel that this is a formula or something you should feel guilty about if they don't work for you):
1. My father kept a Bible at the dinner table and my husband and I followed this example. At the end of a family meal, the Bible is picked up and something is read and then discussed. (In the Power for Life Bible I have written "Power Tools" which provide a passage to read and then questions to guide discussion or personal reflection).
2. I began a prayer journal. The act of writing kept me awake and in the process I have a chronicle of God's faithfulness that I love to re-read.
3. Posting Bible verses on the fridge also helped a lot!
As you make time for God, don't be surprised if you discover that this has become the most important time in your life!
Sheila
Sheila
]]> It sounds as though you are facing the possibility of another life change and that means that it is a certainty that you are facing the unknown. Nothing is more fearful than the unknown. You are, however, projecting that you will be all alone if they leave you. The reality is that being alone, or being in fellowship with others is always a choice! You can choose to continue to use your daughter and her family as your sole source of fellowship or you can branch out and reach out to find other sources of fellowship. There are many, many organizations that need volunteers, and this can be a source of finding friends.
I am reminded of the Easter egg hunt that my parents had at their house. The grandchildren ran through the house looking for chocolate eggs. Suddenly, my son, Christopher, who was 2 at the time, came into the kitchen, with one of my mother’s prized, antique china teapots dangling from his arm. “Stuck.” He muttered.
My father ran over to try to catch the teapot, but it was indeed stuck. Apparently, Christopher had found an egg down in the bottom and he had a firm, fat little fist clutching the egg inside the teapot.
“Let go of the egg, Christopher.”
He shook his head firmly, “No!”
It took a bit of persuasion (as only my father is capable of) to get Christopher to let go of the egg. Eventually, Dad held out a bigger egg, and Christopher dropped the teapot into Dad’s hands and reached out for the bigger egg.
I would like to suggest that God has a bigger dream for you that you can only take hold of if you are willing to let go. I think that if you can let your daughter go with your blessing that you will find that there are many, many ways for you to find new friends and a new lease on life, while keeping in touch with her and visiting her often.
In Christ’s love,
Sheila
As principal of a school one of my duties is to mete out discipline to naughty boys and girls. One day a little boy sat across from my desk, remorseful, and said, “If only I had a time machine…I could turn back the time and undo it, Mrs. Coleman.”
The truth is that ALL of us could say the same thing about our lives. “If only I had a time machine—I would do things differently.” The good news is that even though we don’t have a time machine, we have something better—we have a Savior!
Jesus died for our mistakes. That is wonderful news, and He died for ALL mistakes, even the mistakes that we moms make and tear ourselves up over with guilt, guilt and more guilt. Jesus can help us learn from our mistakes and turn our scars into stars. He can redeem us and make us new.
If you have accepted the grace of Christ in your life, that means forgiving yourself and building a new productive life. It also means that relationships with your family will only heal with time and patience and prayer.
I believe in a God of miracles. Begin by praying and asking God to heal your family. Then admit your mistakes to your children one at a time and ask them for forgiveness. Understand that renewed trust only comes with time.
In the meantime, find others who need you today! Call your local church and volunteer. When you give yourself away to others you will find that you will have turned your scars into stars—with the grace and help of Jesus Christ!
Have a happy mother’s day, knowing you are a child of Christ!
Sheila
As principal of a school one of my duties is to mete out discipline to naughty boys and girls. One day a little boy sat across from my desk, remorseful, and said, “If only I had a time machine…I could turn back the time and undo it, Mrs. Coleman.”
The truth is that ALL of us could say the same thing about our lives. “If only I had a time machine—I would do things differently.” The good news is that even though we don’t have a time machine, we have something better—we have a Savior!
Jesus died for our mistakes. That is wonderful news, and He died for ALL mistakes, even the mistakes that we moms make and tear ourselves up over with guilt, guilt and more guilt. Jesus can help us learn from our mistakes and turn our scars into stars. He can redeem us and make us new.
If you have accepted the grace of Christ in your life, that means forgiving yourself and building a new productive life. It also means that relationships with your family will only heal with time and patience and prayer.
I believe in a God of miracles. Begin by praying and asking God to heal your family. Then admit your mistakes to your children one at a time and ask them for forgiveness. Understand that renewed trust only comes with time.
In the meantime, find others who need you today! Call your local church and volunteer. When you give yourself away to others you will find that you will have turned your scars into stars—with the grace and help of Jesus Christ!
Have a happy mother’s day, knowing you are a child of Christ!
Sheila
The feelings of love do change over time. So, I would encourage you not to be misled by the slippery slope of measuring the health of a relationship based on feelings. My father always said, “Love is a decision, not a feeling.”
When you married your wife you made a lifelong commitment to love her and to cherish her. It sounds like you have a strong foundation for a terrific marriage. You don’t complain about her nagging you. And you don’t indicate that there has been any infidelity or issues with drugs or alcohol, so you have everything going for you and your marriage.
I would ask you to ask yourself – what did you used to do with your wife that you loved, that you don’t do anymore. Maybe it is pray together or take walks together. Whatever it is, pray and ask God to help you inspire your wife to begin your next 25 years together with a renewed commitment to your relationship.
Last but not least, make a list of all the qualities you love about your wife. Read the list and thank God for all those endearing traits. Begin to affirm her for these traits. Make a commitment to yourself that you will not let one day go by without affirming her and thanking God for her.
I commend you for your faithfulness to her! Have a very happy anniversary!
God loves you and so do !
-- Sheila
]]>Join the club! It is well known that most of us set New Year’s Resolutions and fail to keep them. I believe that this is because we are attempting to correct negative behavior from a negative perspective. For example we might say we are going to quit gaining weight (a negative behavior) by not eating as much.
I suggest that a positive alternative for you and your son would be to set goals for the New Year. They need to be your goals and your son’s goals need to be his goals (not yours!). Sit down and pray and brainstorm with your son as to the goals God wants you to set for your life.
Goals are always a positive driving force. Instead of resolving to quit something -- you plant seeds of a dream. My father taught that on the farm his father gave up pulling weeds, and instead planted seeds of alfalfa that pushed out the weeds. In other words, the positive dream motivates us, and in the process, the good pushes out the bad habit, but in a fun way.
Most people are afraid to set goals for fear of failure – that they won’t see them come true and all of the work will have been for nothing. But – working toward reaching a goal – even if the goal changes – all the positive habits and positive character that was built in the process is something that becomes a part of you that no one can ever take away. So, it is impossible to work toward a goal and not get something positive out of the process.
Make your goals big enough for God to fit into them. The bigger the goal, the more you will have to depend on God and this lesson is one your son will never forget!
Happy New Year!
Sheila
]]> I must tell you that I don’t think there is a right or wrong answer to this question. When I was young my father didn’t believe in teaching children that Santa was real. He would tell us outright, “If I told you Santa was real, and then when you found out I lied to you, you might doubt when I told you God was real.” Made sense to me, and in truth I felt somewhat superior to my friends when they talked about Santa being real. I would think to myself, rather smugly I admit, “Just wait until you find out the truth.”
However, my younger sisters were encouraged to believe in Santa and they will tell you that my mother went all out with trying to set the scene, complete with cookies and milk, with bites taken out. Today their faith in God is completely solid and was not shaken in the least by believing in Santa.
As a young mother, I followed my father’s lead and let my sons know that Santa was fun but that he wasn’t real. And when they got to be four years old I found books that told the historical origin of Santa and St. Nicholas who loved Jesus and wanted to spread His love to children by giving them presents. I felt that the lessons that could be learned by becoming familiar with the spirit of St. Nicholas was an important lesson – more important than believing a fairy tale. I wanted them to know the magic of giving and sharing with others who were in need.
So, fear not – choose whichever path appeals to you the most. I do hope that as your beautiful daughter grows that you will include lessons on the true meaning of Christmas.
Merry Christmas!
Sheila
I must say that your letter brought back memories. I felt like I was reliving difficult evenings with my son who was a terrible speller. Fortunately at that time I was in a Masters program in education so the paper I did that semester focused on spelling. Two things helped a lot! First of all – I made the hard decision to stop working with my son at night on spelling. I didn’t think it was worth the battle. With Spell-check I decided that spelling was not an essential skill – a nice skill – but not essential. I decided that reading was essential! I will tell you that I feared his spelling grades would drop to a “D” or worse. But the reality was that they didn’t drop that much. Meanwhile, we were a much happier family! Second, we replaced the spelling bouts with reading aloud to him, which he loved!
I suggest you try something similar. And focus on what your son is good at and continue to read to him and continue to encourage him in his gift area and teach him how to use spell-check. Finally, remember -- in Heaven there are no spelling bees!
God loves you and so do I!
-- Sheila
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