Recent Entries

• Too old to change?
• No Time for God
• Hopeless
• Afraid of Being Left Behind
• Regrets

Archives

• May 2008
• April 2008
• March 2008
• May 2007
• April 2007

• Contact Sheila

Ask Sheila

Sheila Schuller Coleman is the firstborn child of Robert H. Schuller, the Founding Pastor of the Crystal Cathedral. Sheila has had a diverse career as a published author (curricula, children’s books, devotionals, and books on family), a public school teacher, and most recently as a private Christian school administrator for over 13 years. She is currently serving as the Director of Family Ministries at the Crystal Cathedral overseeing the Crystal Cathedral Pre-school, Academy, Middle School and High School, as well as the Children’s Ministries and Student Ministries of the Crystal Cathedral. As such, her life has been intertwined with families of all ages in multiple capacities. As a Christian leader she has mentored teachers, principals, preschool directors, youth pastors, and children’s pastors.

Sheila has an Ed. D. in Educational Leadership and Administration from the University of California, Irvine. Sheila and her husband, Jim, have been happily married for almost 30 years. They have four grown sons who are involved in their own careers and academic pursuits.

May 02, 2007

Afraid of Being Left Behind

Dear Sheila I am a widow. My daughter’s husband just got the offer of a promotion that will force them to move out of state. I am just heartsick. They are my only family. I cannot begin to tell you how much I will miss them. I am tempted to ask them to turn down the offer, but am afraid that if I do they will resent me. However, I am afraid that if I don’t share my feelings with them, then they will leave when they might have stayed. I feel like I am in a no-win situation. Can you help me? Afraid of Being Left Behind

Dear Afraid of Being Left,

It sounds as though you are facing the possibility of another life change and that means that it is a certainty that you are facing the unknown. Nothing is more fearful than the unknown. You are, however, projecting that you will be all alone if they leave you. The reality is that being alone, or being in fellowship with others is always a choice! You can choose to continue to use your daughter and her family as your sole source of fellowship or you can branch out and reach out to find other sources of fellowship. There are many, many organizations that need volunteers, and this can be a source of finding friends.
I am reminded of the Easter egg hunt that my parents had at their house. The grandchildren ran through the house looking for chocolate eggs. Suddenly, my son, Christopher, who was 2 at the time, came into the kitchen, with one of my mother’s prized, antique china teapots dangling from his arm. “Stuck.” He muttered.
My father ran over to try to catch the teapot, but it was indeed stuck. Apparently, Christopher had found an egg down in the bottom and he had a firm, fat little fist clutching the egg inside the teapot.
“Let go of the egg, Christopher.”
He shook his head firmly, “No!”
It took a bit of persuasion (as only my father is capable of) to get Christopher to let go of the egg. Eventually, Dad held out a bigger egg, and Christopher dropped the teapot into Dad’s hands and reached out for the bigger egg.
I would like to suggest that God has a bigger dream for you that you can only take hold of if you are willing to let go. I think that if you can let your daughter go with your blessing that you will find that there are many, many ways for you to find new friends and a new lease on life, while keeping in touch with her and visiting her often.

In Christ’s love,

Sheila

Ask Sheila Your Question