Recent Entries

• Too old to change?
• No Time for God
• Hopeless
• Afraid of Being Left Behind
• Regrets

Archives

• May 2008
• April 2008
• March 2008
• May 2007
• April 2007

• Contact Sheila

Ask Sheila

Sheila Schuller Coleman is the firstborn child of Robert H. Schuller, the Founding Pastor of the Crystal Cathedral. Sheila has had a diverse career as a published author (curricula, children’s books, devotionals, and books on family), a public school teacher, and most recently as a private Christian school administrator for over 13 years. She is currently serving as the Director of Family Ministries at the Crystal Cathedral overseeing the Crystal Cathedral Pre-school, Academy, Middle School and High School, as well as the Children’s Ministries and Student Ministries of the Crystal Cathedral. As such, her life has been intertwined with families of all ages in multiple capacities. As a Christian leader she has mentored teachers, principals, preschool directors, youth pastors, and children’s pastors.

Sheila has an Ed. D. in Educational Leadership and Administration from the University of California, Irvine. Sheila and her husband, Jim, have been happily married for almost 30 years. They have four grown sons who are involved in their own careers and academic pursuits.

January 30, 2007

Loveless in Miami

Dear Sheila, In addition to Valentine’s Day, my wife and I are celebrating our 25th wedding anniversary. Our marriage has been without any major troubles. We get along fine. But over the years we have grown apart. Now, I find myself facing our upcoming anniversary and as our daughters are planning a family celebration, I find myself not feeling anything. Rather than feeling happy about it, I am dreading it. Try as I might I can’t seem to feel the love I once felt for my wife. Can you help me? Loveless in Miami

Dear Loveless,

The feelings of love do change over time. So, I would encourage you not to be misled by the slippery slope of measuring the health of a relationship based on feelings. My father always said, “Love is a decision, not a feeling.”

When you married your wife you made a lifelong commitment to love her and to cherish her. It sounds like you have a strong foundation for a terrific marriage. You don’t complain about her nagging you. And you don’t indicate that there has been any infidelity or issues with drugs or alcohol, so you have everything going for you and your marriage.

I would ask you to ask yourself – what did you used to do with your wife that you loved, that you don’t do anymore. Maybe it is pray together or take walks together. Whatever it is, pray and ask God to help you inspire your wife to begin your next 25 years together with a renewed commitment to your relationship.

Last but not least, make a list of all the qualities you love about your wife. Read the list and thank God for all those endearing traits. Begin to affirm her for these traits. Make a commitment to yourself that you will not let one day go by without affirming her and thanking God for her.

I commend you for your faithfulness to her! Have a very happy anniversary!

God loves you and so do !

-- Sheila

Ask Sheila Your Question