Recent Entries

• Too old to change?
• No Time for God
• Hopeless
• Afraid of Being Left Behind
• Regrets

Archives

• May 2008
• April 2008
• March 2008
• May 2007
• April 2007

• Contact Sheila

Ask Sheila

Sheila Schuller Coleman is the firstborn child of Robert H. Schuller, the Founding Pastor of the Crystal Cathedral. Sheila has had a diverse career as a published author (curricula, children’s books, devotionals, and books on family), a public school teacher, and most recently as a private Christian school administrator for over 13 years. She is currently serving as the Director of Family Ministries at the Crystal Cathedral overseeing the Crystal Cathedral Pre-school, Academy, Middle School and High School, as well as the Children’s Ministries and Student Ministries of the Crystal Cathedral. As such, her life has been intertwined with families of all ages in multiple capacities. As a Christian leader she has mentored teachers, principals, preschool directors, youth pastors, and children’s pastors.

Sheila has an Ed. D. in Educational Leadership and Administration from the University of California, Irvine. Sheila and her husband, Jim, have been happily married for almost 30 years. They have four grown sons who are involved in their own careers and academic pursuits.

December 19, 2006

Desperately Seeking Better Habits

Dear Sheila, Every January I write New Year’s resolutions with the best intentions of keeping them. However, I can count on one finger the resolutions that I have kept all these years. Do you think I should just give up on making these? Also, as a father of a teen, I am wondering if my example is doing more harm than not. Should I encourage him to set New Year’s resolutions as well? Desperately Seeking Better Habits

Dear Better Habits,

Join the club! It is well known that most of us set New Year’s Resolutions and fail to keep them. I believe that this is because we are attempting to correct negative behavior from a negative perspective. For example we might say we are going to quit gaining weight (a negative behavior) by not eating as much.

I suggest that a positive alternative for you and your son would be to set goals for the New Year. They need to be your goals and your son’s goals need to be his goals (not yours!). Sit down and pray and brainstorm with your son as to the goals God wants you to set for your life.

Goals are always a positive driving force. Instead of resolving to quit something -- you plant seeds of a dream. My father taught that on the farm his father gave up pulling weeds, and instead planted seeds of alfalfa that pushed out the weeds. In other words, the positive dream motivates us, and in the process, the good pushes out the bad habit, but in a fun way.

Most people are afraid to set goals for fear of failure – that they won’t see them come true and all of the work will have been for nothing. But – working toward reaching a goal – even if the goal changes – all the positive habits and positive character that was built in the process is something that becomes a part of you that no one can ever take away. So, it is impossible to work toward a goal and not get something positive out of the process.

Make your goals big enough for God to fit into them. The bigger the goal, the more you will have to depend on God and this lesson is one your son will never forget!

Happy New Year!

Sheila

Ask Sheila Your Question