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Crystal Cathedral

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Devotions

Tools

First seek agreement

Robert H. Schuller

"Let your word agree with theirs, and speak favorably." – 2 Chronicles 18:12

Early in ministry, I learned this fundamental communication principle: Begin a conversation with someone who seems to be an adversary by first focusing on what you agree on, whether it's a common interest like music or sports or a shared hope or hurt. This is the emotional soil where powerful communication is cultivated.

I was not taught this "art of communication" when I studied to be a preacher. And my first year as a preacher, I failed to win an audience. What I discovered, purely by accident, is that people don't want to be preached to; they want to be helped, honestly and sincerely.

That is the secret of effective communication. Start by being sensitive to the hurting and troubled heart. Share how positive faith has inspired, encouraged, and lifted your spirit. In the process, you'll win a friend for life.


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Share one or two secrets of effective communication you've learned over the years.

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Devotions taken from the
"Power for Life Daily Devotional"

Comments

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  1. pjl writes:

    Thank you Dr RHS. We are created to be in relationships, aren't we? Having a desire to make a genuine link with someone who may be an adversary, rather than merely to get an apology or the upper hand, or to look more righteous, is important. I have found true motives are not always obvious, even to ourselves. Psalm 139:23 and 24. Communication skills and good motives...

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    10/30/2009 04:45:43
  2. conniesimpson writes:

    Listening, is an important part of communication, it is so important that when someone else speaks, they feel that you "hear" what they are saying.

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    10/30/2009 05:02:18
  3. lyverbird writes:

    Listening is v. powerful in the hands of God. When we become devoid of our own opinions, judgements and control over others. When we listen without thinking what the person is saying or bringing up, without God's leading, about our own lives, then we can truly listen, knowing that the Holy Spirit will let us "hear" what He wants us to hear. Also - Jesus always listened to other people's truths and then brought the higher truth into their minds and hearts. People need to speak "their" truth without being opposed. If their truth is not spoken and heard, I don't think they can move on. We must always watch out that we don't try and take a speck out of someone's eye when we ourselves can't see properly 'cos of the log in ours. Nothing worse than someone trying to get something out of your eye, when they have themselves, partial blindness too....Ouch!!!!! You will always remember "those people" and avoid them!

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    10/30/2009 07:59:33
  4. DarkHeart writes:

    I've found it very effective to go in with an open mind. Sometimes you can learn something valuable from the opposing side! Who knows, you might even change your own way of thinking about something by simply hearing a differing point of view. If you start a conversation prepeared to argue your 'side' to death, then that's what you get, a pointless argument where no one wins or learns anything new. People can sense your rigidity and unaccepting nature and stick to their own guns that much harder. Be flexible and open!

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    10/30/2009 08:53:40
  5. davisjsll writes:

    A superb lesson on the art of communicatiion. I would add; however, that in all of our communication, the primary goal of any Christian is to win souls for Jesus Christ, and then, maybe, a friend for life.

    Report Abuse

    10/31/2009 11:53:14

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